“She is learning to unlearn what smallness has taught her, to put her ear to the sound of her own drumming heart, to let the low notes be low, the high notes be high—to greet each thing as treasure no matter how clever the disguise.”

– Julia Fehrenbacher, from the poem, Her Rhythm

What if the question was not: Is this impressive? Will someone approve? 

But instead: Is this true? Is it honest? Does it sound like me? 

We are conditioned to perform, to be impressive, to scrutinize the beauty that comes out of us and wonder if it’s up to snuff. We hide the messy, human parts of ourselves because it might reveal too much or be misunderstood. Because we fear it might not make us worthy.

And yet, so much of what is alive in us exists beneath that effort to hide. So much of what is beautiful about us isn’t the contrived and curated, but the simple and the spontaneous.

Join Laurie Wagner and poet Julia Fehrenbacher for a conversation and writing experience where we’ll drop the pressure of who we think we’re supposed to be as writers, and hone in on listening to what is actually moving through us when we give ourselves permission to get out of the way.

This is an invitation to loosen the grip of perfectionism and create space for what is honest, ordinary, tender, and real. A chance to write without the critic standing over your shoulder.

As Mary Oliver says, “It’s not a contest, but a doorway.”

In this workshop, we’ll explore:

• Redefining success — and tipping the old definition upside down
• Moving from performance into presence
• Listening beneath the noise to discover what is true
• Softening our relationship with the inner critic
• Trusting what wants to move through us
• Writing from lived experience with honesty, kindness, and grace
• Creating a space where we can be messy, human, and free

Julia Fehrenbacher’s poetry has long lived at the intersection of poetry, blessing, and permission. Her work does not ask us to become someone new. It invites us to return to the self beneath perfectionism, hurry, fear, self-judgment, and the noise of the world.

During this workshop, Julia will share poems that reveal the process behind the poem — the human behind the published poet — including the fears, questions, and moments of uncertainty that arose when she tried to show up honestly.

Because even the people we admire are practicing.

Even the people who have done this for years are learning how to trust.

Come write.

Come listen.

Come home.

Redefining Success – by Julia Fehrenbacher 

Today, she celebrates

all the times she was shaky and unsure,

and showed up anyway—

even when there was not

a crumb of evidence

that anyone was listening,

celebrates that she finally knows

that tending to her own flame,

is the whole point—

that being good, being great,

in the eyes of others

was never the point.

Today, she celebrates all the times

she plugged her ears to the world’s noise,

and carved a path to her insides instead,

chose poetry—not because

it made her rich or popular, but because

it grew her flame bigger, brighter, braver.

Today, she sees that the world

is begging for new definitions,

entirely new ways,

sees that the unreal must be

burned to the ground until

only the unburnable remains,

until all of it

becomes poetry,

becomes flame.

I’M EXCITED TO BE PARTNERING WITH CHAPTER 510, A NONPROFIT GROUP IN OAKLAND SERVING BLACK, BROWN, AND QUEER KIDS, AGES 7-18.

Chapter 510 is a writing, bookmaking & publishing center that wants every young person in Oakland to write with confidence and joy. Chapter 510 believes that writing is an act of liberation, and that young people transform themselves and their communities when they write and get published, succeeding in work, school, and life.

A portion of the proceeds from this event will go to supporting their free creative writing programs for black, brown, and queer youth.