by Laurie Wagner | Dec 14, 2014 | Blog
“I’m nervous,” my Cousin Tom said as I greeted him in front of the synagogue in Boulder, Colorado last week. We were walking into my nephew Jonah’s Bar Mitzvah, and Tom, a rabbi who was visiting from Tucson – a man who can, incidentally do a headstand at the snap of a finger – even in full suit and tie – and who did do a headstand on the grass after the service – was going to be chanting a Hebrew Torah portion in the ceremony that morning. “Why are you nervous?” I asked. “This is what you do, this is your gig.” Tom’s been a beloved rabbi in Tucson for the last 20 years. Even though he was here as family, he’d been invited to chant the Torah because not everybody has a rabbi for blood, and we love this guy – anytime we can get a blessing from him we do. Well it turns out that chanting a Torah portion isn’t his gig at all. His gig is being a rabbi – which means interpreting the Torah so we mortals can understand what God is saying to us. The singing gig belongs to the cantor of the temple. Asking Tom to chant Hebrew in the service is like asking an electrician to fix your plumbing. They both work on the house, but they do completely different jobs. But I didn’t know that then. “You’ll do fine,” I said, giving him a squeeze. I thought he was just being modest. Tom is awesome. I wasn’t worried at all. Until about a minute into...
by Laurie Wagner | Aug 25, 2014 | Blog
Because when our children grow up we can no longer strap them into car seats, which means they’re free to roam the earth as they please, and which sometimes means they down 5 shots of vodka with their new college roommates even though they promised themselves that they’d take it slow on account of the altitude and all. We tell stories because we struggle to find the words when the apple of our eye calls the next morning, voice craggy and full of rocks to let you know that no, she will not be helping you in your effort to find furniture for her room today because “Mama I’m very sorry but if I get up I’m going to throw up.” We tell stories because we want to come down hard, we want to get all “You need to learn how to take care of yourself…bla bla bla, ” except that just as those words are charging out of your mouth you remember who you were when you were a college student in this very town 35 years ago. The night you lay in your freshman bed so high you were certain the aliens were coming for you, how you closed your eyes and lay your arms by your side so you’d be ready to beam up in one piece. The day you ate too many mushrooms and had to have your best friend Lisa walk the streets of Boulder with you for hours, reminding you what was good about your life because you had forgotten. The Friday afternoon beer party where...
by Laurie Wagner | Jul 1, 2014 | Blog
“Come on Gal! Hit the ball! God dammit!” This is the sound of my 77-year-old Mother shouting at herself during her tennis lesson this morning. “No! No! No!” she screams as she slams the racquet into the ball. “Move it!” she shouts, rushing to the net. She’s not actually playing with anyone, just hitting with Dan, the pro, an easy going guy in his early 60’s who stands at the net hitting balls to my Mom. “Suzy,” he says, lobbing her another ball, “if you do all the talking I’ll have nothing to teach you.” My Mother is hardcore. She’s broken her nose three times in adulthood – twice on the baseball field while playing catcher – and once when an apple fell on it when she was up in a tree. She brings her mitt to the Dodger’s games, and has actually caught the ball three times. She’s nobody’s fool, doesn’t mince words. A couple of years ago I was Christmas shopping for her and she called me as I was entering the mall. “I’m just about to go into Chico’s to find a nice holiday gift for you,” I said sweetly. “Chicos!” she shouted! “Don’t you dare get me anything from fucking Chicos!” She got a lovely pumpkin colored jacket from fucking Chico’s that year and she wears it all the time. Back on the court I’m kind of astounded that she’s so rough with herself. “What if you shouted ‘YES” instead of “NO” when you hit the ball,” I suggest, ever the positive thinker. “Maybe you wouldn’t...
by Laurie Wagner | Feb 10, 2014 | Blog
One of the best things about staying with your work for a very long time is that you have a chance to understand, year after year, what exactly you’re doing. Not even because you’re trying to do it better, but because each year your work reveals itself even more to you, and you can deepen your understanding as to what it is about your work that you really care about. I knew I was teaching people something about writing for the last 14 years, but each year was an opportunity for me to peel away a little more the layers and get to the center of that work. Yes I could help people get published and find homes for their books and stories. Yes I wanted to help them tell their stories in engaging ways, but the more I worked with people, the more I understood that what I really cared about – more than whether someone published – was to inspire and to be among people who were striving to find the most honest language to tell their stories with. My aim is to help people find the words that open like doors and which invite both the reader and writer into deeper understanding of what it means to be alive. What I look for in a story is a chance to learn something – – not even a lesson per se, but perhaps some instruction on how to behave in the world. I remember seeing Ira Glass from the radio program, This American Life, on stage in S.F. many years ago and he told...
by Laurie Wagner | Dec 30, 2013 | Blog
The other day on a walk, my friend told me that all of the big parts of his life were in flux; housing, work, money, love. None of them felt firmly planted, nothing was certain. And yet with all that uncertainty, he felt really solid. Meditation, walks with his dog in nature, art – – these were the consistents in his life, the things that he could rest in and which sustained him when all about him swirled in change. I’ve been thinking about my friend as I take a look at the year ahead and the expectations that I have for myself. There’s a tendency for me to plan ahead, to already have 2014 envisioned and ready to roll out; new business ideas, new classes, exciting new projects. Big plans fueled by big ambition – that’s where I’m comfortable – when I’m sinking my teeth into things and making them happen. But try as I might, that’s not where I am right now. I’m breathing, that’s for certain, and there are some wonderful small projects I’m offering in the New Year, but I’m moving more slowly. The big ideas, the flashy offerings, they’re not crystalized yet – they’re still fuzzy, still being fleshed out. And some of them may never happen. If I sound relaxed about this it’s only because this is what’s been working me for weeks, so I’m getting used to being in this foggy place where I can’t see past my own feet. I have tried to catapult myself to a “better” place for sure. In the last three weeks I...
