by Laurie Wagner | Aug 28, 2013 | Blog
“Why do you work so hard?” my friend Deb asked me the other day. “You seem like you’re in such a hurry to get somewhere.” “I think I’m trying to get to a sense of rest,” I said. “Some place on the other side of all this hard work where I’ll feel calm.” “But you never get there, right?” says Deb with a sinister smile. “Um, no. There’s just more work.” Damn that Deb. She’s such a smarty pants. Welcome to my magical to-do list that mysteriously grows longer the more tasks I cross out. On the surface I’m a mass of kick back, unruly curls, but on the inside I’m a 7-armed goddess monster who squeezes more out of each day than is sanely possible. A woman who means to take care of her house, her kids, sell her classes, create new products, teach her classes, get to the gym, return emails, phone calls and about 1000 other things that I’m not even going to mention. It’s nutty, and I’m sorry if you feel sick just reading this. I’m even sorrier if you know this world all too well. On top of it, if you’re like me, you’ll cop to a deep need to make everything you do perfect, bullet proof, exceptional. And while it’s not bad to want to create and deliver good things, the anxiety that accompanies this need for perfection is killing me. So this summer I promised myself that I was going to take a break and relax. As fate would have it a juicy writing project came my way and my “free time” evaporated…poof!...
by Laurie Wagner | Aug 5, 2013 | Blog
The thing about being someone who promotes truth telling – on the page and off – is that when you’re not walking your talk you know it immediately and it’s hard not to feel like a big ol’ liar. Of course I’m being a little hard on myself; I’m human, I make choices, and the bottom line is that I don’t always tell the truth about how I feel or what I think. That’s why I teach it – because it is hard for me – and so I practice it. A few weeks ago I was invited to the monthly salon my friend Megan holds in her home, and to which she invites artists and creatives to speak about their work to a group of her friends. “Laurie Wagner is the most honest person I’ve ever met,” Megan said with a big smile, as she introduced me to her friends. My eyes went big. I gulped. It felt like a challenge. If she’d said, “Laurie Wagner is the strongest woman on earth,” I’d have to lift something really heavy. Being the most honest person would mean I’d have to tell the truth – and the truth was – that was the last thing I wanted to do. I’d been feeling crappy for months. The reality of life without my husband of 22-years had begun sinking in. The first few months were pure candy – like being a teenager when your parent’s leave for the weekend and you can do whatever you want. I went on dates, turned our bedroom into my bedroom, I didn’t have to haggle with...
